Saturday, January 29, 2011

Struggle for a Meaning

Getting a job is never easy. I was told by many people and still being told so but it’s only when you are actually experiencing the hardships that you realize the full meaning of the statement. I am trying hard to get a decent job but I didn’t realize that there are thousands of others who are also trying for the same, hundreds of people who are much better positioned than me and deserve a better a chance to get that job than me. I know this fact but I have to keep on trying. I can’t stop it.

It’s too bad when you prepare so hard for an interview and you get rejection. It questions your ability and your confidence which is a very harmful and dangerous thought. I must have faced at least 7 interview since last few months and each time in the interview I have felt that there is so much better I can do ,so much better and thoughtful answers I could have given ,so many things I could have told but still I didn’t. I failed and I am learning from my mistakes although the price I am paying to learn them are too high...the price of remaining unemployed,the price of being poor and broke ,the price of being reserved and price of low confidence.
I can not realize it better now that 'first impression is last impression’. I am going to meet the interviewer for only those 20mins and based on those 20mins he will have to decide whether I am a good fit or not.It becomes so imperative that I utter very carefully guarded words and leave no chance for him to question my abilities and pin point my weaknesses.

I don’t want to hide my emotions and rather want to make a very candid admission today that I am definitely not feeling good about it and living in despair and hopelessness. People say that it’s very hard to get a job in a reputed company and at the profile you've dreamt. If you get any chance for that then you are very lucky guy. I thought I was a lucky guy too. I had got chance 3times when I could have been a part of 3 big organizations and at good profile but on each count I failed. Not because I faltered terribly during interview but because I was not interviewed due to below average academic credentials. I was refused from the opportunity of showcasing my competencies because of my past mistakes. I was a victim of a prejudiced mind. I console myself because I think if you make mistakes you are bound to pay for them. I am paying for my sins today.
I had worked hard to get admission in MBA and after joining MBA I worked harder even more. I punished myself and I slogged like anything. I had sacrificed a lot and for the first time in my life I was able to find the meaning of my life. I was enjoying what I was doing and was determined and focused like never before. I thought that with my hard work one day I will be able to disapprove the notions that I am just a normal guy and I will be able to get a decent job...I was wrong..Not just once...each time I was wrong...I forget that there is something called is not in your hands and sometimes you can’t do much except just leave things to the destiny. At this juncture I am at such position that I am waiting for my luck. I am hoping...I am living my each and every second of life on the 4 letter word’s such a powerful have to be hope full only then you will be able to overcome the challenges...

I may be sounding disappointed and pessimistic but I am not trying to make a false guess that I am not motivated. I am very motivated and each failure in my life doesn’t demotivate me but motivate my more to challenge the circumstances.each time I find a much more stronger will power and a resolute mind to challenge those obstacles..I take it on my ego.I cannot fail.I have to succeed.I have to be patient.I have to give my best shot and wait for the results.I have to learn from the mistakes and give a better performance next time..But at the end of the day I know one thing for sure...I WILL has to take place.because I still owe myself a better life....

Remember that after the darkest hour comes the beautiful dawn. 

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