Who Am I??

Who am I??What is my identity??What am I made for? How will I see myself when I will be on my deathbed and counting my breaths want to know this? I want to know how will I be remembered when I will not be on this planet earth.

And how will be my life till I die? Will I be serving somebody till I retire or will I be a person handling my own company? Life poses so many questions, isint it? Yet we rarely find time to think about them. Some people are so much entangled in their daily humdrum of lives they don’t want to think about them or maybe they want to ignore these questions deliberately thinking that the more you think the more worries you’ll have so let’s think less and carry worry less.

I don’t think like that at all. I believe that you must have a larger picture of your life in front of you...all the time...Always...I fail to find something interesting or purposeful if I can’t relate to something which fits in my larger picture in some way or the other...

I ask myself from time to time that what do I want to do in my life? But the more deeper I think the more obtruse the question becomes to me.i am looking for an answer which should be absolute...Which should be my ultimate purpose of life.i should live my life from then on with a single point focus with the 0%of doubtedness in mind, with an attitude and purpose so unflinching that I could fight anybody for that. Deep down when I shake myself and when i sit down to think about it then I realize that there is very strong and hidden emotion which stops me from thinking ahead...The emotion is fear...a fear of unknown ..A fear of discovery. A discovery of purpose so 'unsociety' that it’ll not be able to gather courage to accept it. But is it not true for anyone? Think it is...and I believe that the sole real of the fear is 'society’. we all are social animals and there are hardly few people on the earth who have the courage to pursue their dreams without being called names like 'rebel','maverick','iconoclast' etc etc.it’s because they feel that their purpose of life could be so radical and so unconventional that it would not be acceptable to the current society to which we subscribe to. So they give in to it.

So am I saying that I am also giving into them? Does it mean that I am going to live my life the way the 'society' wants me to? And am I happy about it? Or am I not? Or I don’t know?